Movie Review: Sharktopus

I have to admit, when I first saw the previews for this movie on the ScyFy channel (why did they ever change it from SciFi by the way), I got excited.  Leave it to Scyfy to combine horrid graphics, middle-school drama class acting, and a screwed up goverment hybrid project turned uncontrolled killer.  What more could we possibly ask for???

Lets set the scene...  Stupid blond on the beach goes swimming and suddenly is being chased by a shark! Her friend and others on the beach frantically scream at her as she swims towards safety when suddenly, large tenticles reach up out of the water and grab - the shark?  The girl makes it to safety and next, we're watching the events on a computer screen with a bunch of scientists.  Meet "Blue Water" a group of scientists working for the Navy to develop a new weapon that can go undetected in enemy waters, known as S-11.  Otherwise known as (dunh dunh duuuunh)- SHARKTOPUS!!!!  (Why they decided on that name instead of Octoshark shall remain a mystery, though I wonder what that would look like...)

Of course, they decide to push it too far before its ready and it swims under a speedboat, knocking off its fancy remote controlled headgear and it breaks free!  Off to Mexico we go, the home of sexy women, tequila, resort beaches and now - SHARKTOPUS!

Honestly I can't go through this whole movie like my past reviews... it was hard enough to watch.  The funny thing is my semi-nerd brain thought this out... a shark uses its tail to propel through the water, an octopus uses its head, so technically -the oh-so-terrifying Sharktopus, wouldn't really be able to move around at all.  Silly scientists.  I guess they skipped that step of the thought-process.  They made it be able to walk on land with the tentacles instead.  Oh and at the end when the dumb bitch daughter of the dumb ass scientist remembers she created a kill-switch - it is sooo beyond obvious that the freakin password is PUMPKIN.  Duh, he kept saying it the ENTIRE movie and you kept saying "Dad, I told you to stop calling me that".  It's a surprise anyone in this movie made it out alive and didn't drown in sand.