One word. LAME.
Mr. Louisiana preacher man Cotton is a fake, so followed by a camera crew to prove exorcisms are bullshit, he goes to do one last fake exorcism. Equipped with speakers for strange noises, fishing line to make shit move, and a “smoking” cross, the games begin. But instead he finds a tormented girl, a creepy brother, and a desperate father. So maybe this time is different, maybe she really is possessed? After she smashes the barn cat to death with the camera, slashes her brother’s face open, and ends up in some kind of strange trance in the preacher’s hotel room, they decide this girl is just too crazy and needs real medical help. But her Dad takes her home from the hospital and refuses any treatment.
But then we find out she’s pregnant. And since Dad pulled her out of school, bible study, and anything remotely social, our friendly fake-preacher and camera crew think Dad is the one not right. So when they confront Dad, what’s his first reaction? His darling daughter has been raped by the demons, so another exorcism is in order or he’ll show his own daughter what it feels like to have a hole punched through her by a shotgun. In an attempt to save the girl, who is now acting certifiably insane and in the cliche white nightgown splattered with blood, our fake-exorcist takes the shenanigans into the barn.
Impressive back bending and a few broken fingers later and she finally breaks down crying that she's not so innocent . She admits that she had sex with a boy from town, so what’s growing inside her is not some demon-spawn. Unfortunately dad disagrees. Desperate to help this girl, whatever her real problem is, we bring in preacher #2. Some more praying and it seems things are on their way to better. Cotton and crew take off.
But wait, they find the boy she claimed knocked her up and hold the phone, he’s gay. Ok something just doesn’t make sense. Mr. Fake can’t leave shit alone so he drags his crew back to the house. They find nothing but blood drawings of satanic symbols all over the walls and rush around the woods trying to find someone. And find someone they do. A chanting group of crazies led by preacher #2 (who apparently is evil) and dad blindfolded and tied to a post. Where is our dear girl? On a table screaming in agony by a giant fire as she gives birth to… a demon spawn? (She never even looked pregnant how is she already giving birth!?) Some little red blob pops out of her and preacher #2 throws it into the fire. Seems a bit backwards, why go to all the trouble to get a girl preggers then throw your precious demon baby into the fire? Oh… because now it’s a giant fireball demon… thing. Cotton suddenly has his faith back, and armed with his fake smoking cross walks into the clearing to save the girl and kill the demon.
Meanwhile the camera crew (which is only the camera guy and sound woman) get all chopped up in the woods and tada, the movie is over.
As I stated previously, this movie is LAME. Unless you’re looking for something to fall asleep to, don’t even bother wasting your time.
As a side note…. It makes me sad that we once had such a great movie dealing with this subject (I speak of the original Exorcist of course) and since then things have only gone downhill. But I will not give up my quest to find the next decent possession movie. I have a feeling though, I’ll be watching a lot of horrible ones in the meantime. *sigh*
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| RIP barn cat |
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